A Land of Mine?


                                                                                                                           Wat Thamkrabok

     You are in front of a small Hmong village, Wat Thamkrabok, in the middle of nowhere in Thailand. The minute you step off the car, you see Thai soldiers with M16A1 rifles wearing the Thai version of Woodland BDUs everywhere by the main gate. Their eyes were as fierce as if they were going into a war with the Hmong villagers. Outside of the gate, there is a long line of villagers who are waiting to enter the village. Some of them are sleeping under the trees, exhausted from work. Babies are crying everywhere. Inside of the gate, there is also a long line of villagers who are waiting to get out of the village to go to work too. Each one of them is holding an identification card to show to the soldiers. To the far left side of the gate, you see an endless wall of barbed wire. On the right side of the gate, you notice another wall of barbed wire that stretches all the way up to the mountains. These barbed wire walls are meant to protect the outsiders from entering the village, and they are meant to prevent the Hmong villagers from escaping. These Hmong villagers are waiting to be repatriated back to Laos because they are illegal immigrants who escaped the “secret war” in Laos during the Vietnam War.
      When you walk past the main gate, you see that there is a huge burning trash heap on the left side of the road, where children with bare feet and seniors are digging plastic bottles and metals out of the trash to sell. Human waste and dead bodies of animals are everywhere. After a careful observation, you see thousands of flies flying on top of the dead animals, and thousands of maggots are eating the animals’ flesh. The wind brings the smell of charred trash and animals through your mouth and exits through your nose. If this were your first time to inhale the smell, you would be sick for a few days.
     When you walk further into the village, you see, standing on top of a large mass of cement, a huge statue of the current Thai king facing the Hmong village. Looking at the head of the statue, it is wearing a pair of huge glasses with a broken right lens. One of my friends broke the lens accidently with a slingshot when he missed shooting a bird that stood on top of the statue’s head.  This statue is very sacred for the Thai people. Thai monks and people believe that the statue helps to bring a long life for the king.  
Children and young adults are playing soccer beside and behind the statue. Suddenly, at 6:00 p.m., you hear three “bee” sounds and then a song is played.  Everyone in the village, including the soldiers, stands still until the Thai national anthem ends. Those who don’t stop and stand still when the Thai national anthem is being playing face consequences to do push ups and picking up trash for a few days.
      When the song has ended, people continue with their tasks.  This is what you see everyday in the refugee camp.  This is where you lived for 14 years. To the Thai soldiers and government, you are like the burning dead animals in the trash heap. Everywhere you look, you feel like you are in the trash heap and the maggots are eating you alive. This is a place where you call prison when you realize how much opportunity and freedom you have in America.
    

The Inner Feeling

     It has been six years since I arrived to the United States. I could not even believe that I have been here this long. The time has gone by so fast that I did not even realized the things that I had done. Thinking about the old days, back in the refugee camp in the middle of nowhere in Thailand, the place where most Thai people were afraid to enter because of the rumors about HIV, and realizing how much I have learned throughout these years in the United States, I could not believe that I am in college now, at St.Olaf. When I was a little kid, my parents could not afford to send my two older sisters and I to a good school. In fact, I did not even go to school. My family and other Hmong people in the refugee camp were illegal immigrants who escaped the "Secret War" in Laos during the Vietnam War. My father and grandfather were the "old" CIA recruited soldiers.

     Because we were not Thai citizens, education was limited to the Hmong people. The highest level of education for the Hmong refugees was only 6th grade. "What can you do with this education?" I asked myself. Today, I cannot even find an appropriate answer for this question. And, I don't know. I only knew that I worked as a labor for the Thai people at the age of 8 in their cornfields. The conditions were horrible because you had to work under the sun from 6 a.m. to 9 p.m. This was how my family and other Hmong families made their living.

     When I grew older, at the age of 14 in the refugee camp, I saw that my opportunity was limited because I did not have any basic education. I did not know any basic math and basic reading skills. I was illiterate. My life was getting harder and harder. When I grew older and older, I started to think more wider and broader. My needs were unlimited. I had seen many Hmong people died because they could not afford to go to the hospital. I had seen people starving to death. I had seen people killing each other for food. And, finally, I cried because I could not do anything to help. I could not even help myself. Sometimes, my family went days without any food on the table.

     Today, I live in America. I have realized how much opportunity that I have right now. I will turn my impossible dream back in the refugee camp into reality someday in my life. This is the "immigrants' dreams" when they come to the United States. Freedom from want!
   

Learning to Love St.Olaf


because it is in the middle of nowhere

because windmill hypnotizes you walking to Hoyme
because the fragrance of malt-o-meal fills the air
and because the hill is more dynamic than a field

because we say “Um ya ya!”

because we live in a dorm
we have eaten locally
and because the cold starts in September,

because I’ve started adjusting an inner warmth
my skin is chilled
my homesickness near the pit of my stomach

because I must wear shoes all the time now

because I have taken a risk with friends
because each one is welcoming
because I’ve seen them in the same place I am
because they relate to me too

because I have found a new community
because they will all support me
because we all chose the same place to be

because changing your mind is not an option
because it is time.

First Post

Today is September 14, 2010. This is the first post for my blog. It is very important that I keep track of what I have posted. Thank you for visiting my blog. Please feel free to comment and give me suggestions throughout the year!